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Rejoice… not celebrate

Grateful

In approximately 1 1/2 hours, I will be rejoicing in my 2 years of sobriety.  I say rejoice because to celebrate would mean that I would be letting the whole “world” come celebrate with me.  But to rejoice means that I am quietly taking delight in my own sobriety.  I know, I know, I’m posting about it!  Is that considered an oxymoron?

It has been, by far, the worst and best 2 years of my life.  The first year was spent in the hospital.  4 surgeries, 15 procedures and countless hours of pain, frustration, drugs and battling our failed healthcare system. And I haven’t even touched on the dollar amount!

And let’s not forget the scars that were left physically on my body along with the emotional scars.  Just to give you an idea… they removed my gull bladder, my appendix, part of my intestine, part of my colon and my left Fallopian tube.  And don’t get me started on the liver and kidney issue!

Did I mention I now have a metal stent in my liver?  Oh, and the only way to have any decent energy level would be a transplant!

I actually drank for more than twice my age.  But I am no different than many others like me, fighting the battles and demons on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis.

These past 2 years however have been the best 2 years of my entire life.  I can not even begin to express the gratitude and love that is in my heart.  I actually have a wonderful relationship with my 3 adult children that I did not have before.  I have a wonderful relationship with my granddaughter.  I found the courage and strength to tell my in-significant other, who continued to drink, to get out.  I even took myself off the oxy’s because I knew they were killing me.  Oh, the withdrawal from those bad boys.

Did I do this alone?  Oh hell nooo!

And for that I am grateful to the many people who have come into my life.  I would say I chose to get sober, but the honest truth is that had I not gotten sick (divine intervention) I believe I would still be drinking.

Amy Robach said, “Tell your story.  It may save someone’s life.”  So, that ‘s what I’m doing.  I’m writing my story.  Bits and pieces here but mostly in a book.  It’s a long story.

My point being, I am grateful for everything I have.  And on this 2 year anniversary, THANK YOU!  to all that have helped me.  I could not have done it alone!

And to those still struggling, know that there is someone out there that knows, that cares and wants to help.  It’s ok to ask for help, even if you don’t know how.  Just reach out.  We are here for you.

God Bless

C

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I feel like an A$$, and this feels like a bribe…

Donkey

I am currently separated.  I consider “him” my IN-significant other.  And before you judge me or my words know that I have been abused by him mentally, verbally, spiritually and yes, physically.  For 6 years.  We’ll save my reasons for later.  I can be and have been the bigger, better person.  I excused him of his duties back in April.  All I asked was that he get his things and get out.  I asked for a few more things from my Higher Power, but that’s for another post.  My point being that, I did not want to ask for money from him.  And I have stuck to my guns.  (Pride:  another “dirty” word to be discussed in a different post.)  I did however mention that if he had a few dollars to spare, I would not say no to receiving this wonderful gift he would be so willing to just hand over to me.  Can you “hear” the sarcasm?  Well, this afternoon he came to my home and gave me some cash, from a big wad he was holding.  As much as I would have been very grateful for any amount, I would soon realize that the “golden” carrot would soon come with a bigger “payout” and a string attached.  After a few moments of thought, and I always do the right thing, I took the money and agreed to sign the divorce papers.  After taking the money to the bank, hey, I got bills too, and agreeing to the divorce, I found myself second guessing my decision.  Do I really want him back?  Do I really want that type of person in my life?  Can I really achieve all my hopes and dreams on my own?  I taught my (now adult) children to be independent shouldn’t I continue to set an example for them?  The answer has already been stated:  Do the Right Thing!           Christine

Lioness

We all look at the male lion as being the strength, and rightly so, of the animal kingdom.  He is massive, he is powerful, but he only hunts for one; himself.  Now look at the lioness.  She is the epitome of family.  She is the one that takes care of her cubs, protects them and teaches them.  She is also the one that determines who her mate will be, if only for a brief moment.  She chooses the one that is the strongest so that she can carry on these genes and traits.

I found this image the other day and it got me thinking, which led me all the way to here.  To tell my story.  All 53 plus years of them.  It wasn’t until I realized that I was done with the “king” in my life that my life truly took a turn; for the better (95% of the time).  And this is where my story starts.

I created this blog in the hopes of helping others.  Staying positive in an all-too-consuming-selfish society is not an easy task for any of us.  But maybe if I can get you to laugh a little, cry a little, and breathe a little, you will know you are not alone, none of us are alone.  We just look for someone to be our little stepping stone and building block as we go along in this life.

So, enjoy: life, this site and the ability to laugh!

C

“Start a blog, Mom.”

Want to know what it’s like to be 53 and feel like you’re just starting out in life, again?  Well, that’s me.

The last 2 years have been an incredible journey for me.  I’ve gone from drinking heavily to a long stint in the hospital to surgeries, almost dying, kicking my husband out, looking at starting school again to wondering where my next paycheck may come from.  In all of this smells-like-chaos turbulence I call my world, my daughter’s wonderful wisdom was to start a blog.

I’m still exploring, learning the ropes and wondering what “it” is that I could possibly offer someone that they would be willing to pay for it.  When I figure that out, you’ll be the first to know.

The sites name is Sunny Side Over Easy.  As much as I try to see and find the positive in every situation, every person, every “problem”, there are days that He has a different plan for me.

I thought I would share my wit and humor on these days with whomever wanted to listen.  I will also share those sunny side up days as well.

If I can help one person see the brighter side of life, then I have done well.

Thank you for sharing with me.

Christine

Books and movies are like apples and oranges.  They both are fruit, but taste completely different. – Stephen King

Look to God